It happens at times that you confuse the biggest mistake of your life for your forever person. You lay all your hopes and dreams on him/her just so he/she could walk all over them. You couldn’t imagine your life without him/her in it. However, he/she had other plans. He/Her took as much as they could from you and went on their way, leaving you crushed. And how wouldn’t you be when you gave your best to someone who wasn’t worth it, to someone who didn’t deserve you?
But what if being severely broken is the best thing that could have happened to you?
Maybe you would never have moved from a shitty relationship if you weren’t forced out of it.
Sometimes, we get so stubborn, so persistent in holding onto something
we believe is love, that it only hurts us even more in the end. Holding on hurts more than letting go. Maybe there was no other way. This was the push you needed to move from something that wasn’t meant for you. Maybe you needed to be broken, so your pieces could be put together differently.
Maybe you needed to find yourself first, so someone right could find the real you.
What we don’t see is that our ex is there for a reason. He/She was the mistake you had to make, so you could learn something; so, you could see what love should never be like.
Love shouldn’t be one-sided. It has to go both ways to be real. All the investments, feelings and efforts should flow between two people.
Love shouldn’t be begged for. The one who wants to be in your life will find the time no matter how busy he/she is. Anything other than that is an excuse. Love shouldn’t be cold. It should keep you warm no matter the season. You should never be deprived of all the cuddles, hugs and kisses you desire. Love shouldn’t be deaf to your problems. You should always have somebody who is there for you, who will at least listen even if he/she can’t help. You shouldn’t feel so alone in a relationship. Love shouldn’t be torture. It shouldn’t make you cry more often than it makes you smile. It shouldn’t be violent in a physical or emotional way. Love should hold you tight enough that you feel like you belong to another human being, but you are nevertheless free. You are free to be yourself. Be grateful for the mistake of your life. It prepared you for what’s yet to come. It prepared you for the real deal. It prepared you for the love of your life. Your mistake enabled you to recognize “the one” when he/she comes along. And you will recognize him/her—there is no doubt about it.
And when he or she does walk into your life your eyes will sparkle because he/she just remembered to send a simple text that will make your whole day better. When he/she is overwhelmed with work or life, he/she will take a minute to call you because you are on his/her mind no matter what. You will feel that inner peace you searched for so long because you will finally be with someone who cares for you as much as you do for him/her. You see the connection and the chemistry you will share will be magnetic. It will pull you closer and closer together. It will be easy to make plans and spend time together because he/she will want to see you as much as you want to see him. All will be reciprocated, and you will feel like you are floating on cloud nine. At the same time, that love will keep you grounded. It will make you feel safe and feeling safe in someone else's energy is rare. It will make you feel like you finally found your home and you will have no doubt about it. For the first time in your life, you will be sure.
All of that will be thanks to the mistake of your life, the one who drained you emotionally, abandoned you and broke your heart completely. Your mistake made you pick up those pieces and assemble them in your own unique, beautiful and stronger style a style that only the love of your life will recognize and cherish for eternity.
Love, Light & Lip Gloss
Crystal Cailleach
When Asked His Definition of Paradise “This Morning, With Her, Having Coffee” * Johnny Cash